Manny Ramierez

Hey, that's just Manny being Manny.

This weeks DBag is none other then the dread locked wonder of Manny Ramirez. As if baseball and the marquis players did not have enough of a black eye along comes the crazy long haired wonder to the tune of "Another one bites the dust".

50 games. That is just long enough to hamper the Dodgers offense long enough to push them pretty far back in the playoff chase. Way to not only let down your fans, your legacy, your teammates, your profession but also let yourself down by getting caught with one of the pansiest drugs out there.

I mean, if you are going to go down, go down in flames (ala Jose Canstrikeout). Don't get caught with some estrogen producing drug that expectant mothers are taking. I bet even those pills are pink and have a floral pattern.

Manny, when you come back and are in a slump because you are nervous about re-juicing take some time to think about how you passed those other tests. By having some one else pee for you. What did you think was going to happen this time, a wink and a smile and some dumb comment was going to make your pee clear? DBag.

Brett Favre

Brett Favre used to be a good football player. Now he should star in a daytime soap opera. I do not understand how an over the hill QB who single handedly handed his teams playoff chances away last season with terrible play gets so much air time.

The new story is now that he has officially been released by the Jets he has hired a personal trainer to get back into football shape. He has an interest in the Minnesota Vikings apparently.

If this story gets legs we are going to lose the 15 minutes a day of sports coverage we get from ESPN now that does not include steroids or the Yankees or both and it will be filled with what Brett Favre is thinking.

Brett please stop hijacking my sports. I had a rabbit when I was little named Bun Bun. You could learn some things from him. When he was too old to play around he decided to go live on "the farm". You own a farm, you should go hang out there. Set up an old tire, throw some balls at it.

Apple

This weeks Dbag nomination has been on my shit list for quite some time. It is not so much the company itself, it is the following of the mind numb fanboys (and girls) that blindly buy up anything this company has to offer just because it claims to be innovative and looks pretty.

I admit, I have an IPod and it is pretty cool. Too bad it was designed many years before apple started pushing them by a guy who couldn't afford to keep the patent. Apple swoops in and BOOM innovation. (they put some shiny metal on it, that's nice)

I really love the new laptop that is thinner than a sheet of paper and weighs as much as 8 feathers. Try and buy some software and load that cd/dvd into the machine. Nope, no disc drive. Even though it is not practical at all, it is innovative.

This week Apple is in the news for their new offering, the Shaken Baby game for the IPod / IPhone. Here is how it works, a baby is on the screen and it cries. The game times how long it takes before you get fed up and shake it. Thus injuring the kid and.... seriously? This made it past your quality control? Twice? (the game was removed from the app store and then was returned and then removed again)

I bet they are just pulling it back so they can charge people to download it twice. Version 2 will be much more innovative.

Go ahead trolls, blow it up.

Pirates

Usually the only time I think about pirates are in one of the following three scenarios.

1. The Reds are playing them in a baseball match.
2. I am drinking a Rum and Coke.
3. Johnny Depp is doing something on TV.

However die to recent events, I have been reading up on these DBags of the open seas. These are a holes from 3rd world countries who have decided to make their living by theft and threatening human life. Then they cry when the freaking Navy Seals decide to shred some faces while trying to save an American life. I seriously doubt if back in the day ole Black Beard would throw such a hissy fit when a couple of his deckhands got offed when trying to steal some of the kings loot. Pirating is nothing like it used to be.

Now the pirates have decided to wage war on the United States. I know the Navy is taking this threat very seriously. I mean, it is just a matter of time until some overloaded life rafts with a bunch of stick figures with AK's start rolling up to the American shores.

What douchebags. They should go back to what they were doing before, chopping arms off and working in Diamond mines.

Noel Lee

Hey Mr Lee, STOP SUING PEOPLE!
I get it, you are trying to protect your brand, but seriously, the businesses you are targeting have nothing to do with your profit margin.

You lead a company that practices some of the biggest bullying tactics of the corporate world and because of this I have selected you to be this weeks DBag. The following are some of the companies you have bullied:

* Snow Monsters (a kid's skiing group)
* MonsterVintage, small used clothing store
* Monsters, Inc., an animated feature film
* Monster Garage, a television series
* Monsters of the Midway, a nickname of the Chicago Bears football team
* Fenway Park's Monster seats
* Monster.com employment website
* Monster Mini Golf
* Monster Balls Paintballs manufactured by JT Sports
* Blue Jeans Cable

Blue Jeans Cable slapped you in the mouth but you should still be ashamed of yourself.

P.S. please don't sue me, I tried your cables, they were ok but way overpriced.

Shana Brown

Again, apologies for posting a picture that may not be the offender. This DBag was too good to pass up.

Shana Brown has a 13 year old daughter. Like many parents she wanted to have another kid. The problem is however, Shana is unable to have kids. So Shana and her boyfriend decide to do the next best thing.

Nope, not adoption.

They decided to drug the 13 year old daughter so the boyfriend could impregnate her without her knowledge. This mother of the year candidate decided to allow and participate in the drugging and rape of her own kid so she could hear the pitter patter of little feet.

Disgusting.

Lonnie Lane

Sometime the punishment doesn't fit the crime....

This weeks DoucheBag would probably be considered a "small time" criminal. Mr. Lonnie Lane breaks into people's houses when they are not home and steals their stuff.

However Lonnie Lane broke into the wrong house. After getting caught in the act the tenant chased him down and laid the beating on him that you see in the picture. Ouch... I am picturing some pissed off construction worker busting this guy up pretty bad.

Nope, the woman (yeah a chick) that busted up DBag Lane was roughly the same size as him.

Have fun in jail explaining how tough you are to the other criminals after some 150 pound chick busted you up.

What a douchebag....

Bus Cook

While some people are about the team, our Douche Bag this week is about himself. Bus Cook is another sports agent. I know I am setting a pattern here, him being the second agent, but if the shoe fits, wear it.

Bus Cook has been the agent for a long line of whiny football players. The thing is, I don't think these guys are as prissy as they seem. This is all just a tactic by our DBag to work on new contracts. He sees an opening and attacks. You might think this is good play by this guy to make more money for his players. Maybe, but at the cost of their dignity and possibly their career.

The current squabble is with Jay Cutler in Denver. Jay is a good quarterback IN DENVER. Who knows if he can gel with any other team in the league. He has an opportunity to play with one of the best offenses in football and his agent, DBag Cook is jeopardizing his career with his latest ploy for more cash.

Ray Rafool

(picture is not off Ray Rafool, however, this is what I imagine him to look like)

Ray Rafool is the attorney who is representing Linda, Hulk Hogans ex wife. After a recent court appearance he was bad mouthing "The Hulk" to reporters and Mr. Hogan responded with a comment of his own. The actual conversation went down like this:

“Are you gonna wrestle with me here?” Rafool said loudly. “Are you gonna come across the cameras? Then be quiet.”

“It’s a free world,” Hogan replied.

“No, it’s not a free world,” Rafool said. “It’s called professionalism.”

I guess to Mr. Rafool (emphasis on FOOL) professionalism is talking down to someone based on the career they chose and shouting an insult to them in front of a bunch of reporters.

What takes the cake for this DBag is all this happened after he has asked Hulk for an autograph for his son.

Ray Rafool, you are a Dbag and are no longer allowed to be a Hulkamaniac.

Rod Blagojevich

Welcome former Governor Rod Blagojevich. (pronounced douchebag)

One would think you make this list because of the terrible approval rating you had as Governor of Illinois or that you tried to sell a senate seat for your own personal (private) gain. Nope, while both of these actions are filled with the DoucheBag element they alone are not enough to grace the pages of this site.

No sir, you are here because you are now writing a book about your experience. You are once again attempting to profit off being a sleaze bag. I have been working on some titles for your book and the one I keep coming back to is: "Hair Helmets: How to protect your head when there is not much in it."

Feel free to use it and then get a haircut. Seriously, what the hell is going on up there? Are you renting space to the hair club for men? You hair has been an issue for some time. Blagojevich insisted his aides carry a hairbrush for him at all times, which he referred to as "the football," a reference to the term "nuclear football," which represents the bomb launch codes never to be out of reach of the president. This A hole thinks his hair brush is as important as nuclear war.

Below is an image of one of your famous, well thought out quotes that I am sure will go down into the history books as a fine time in your reign as Gov.

Al Sharpton

First let me take a minute to thank my loyal readers. In the past week I have had some comments and emails with people either loving or hating the site. Thanks for the support and it is for you that I will continue to post weekly.

Al Sharpton has been on my radar for a while. The reason this guy is such a douche bag is because he uses a positive front to hide his douchbaggery. The guy makes a living by inciting hate. He takes situations in which there is no racism and creates a stir so that people will follow and donate money to his cause.

In the past week he has organized a riot outside of a the NY Post building and demanded that the owner of the newspaper, Rupert Murdoch, be jailed for a cartoon in the paper. There are a few flaws with this.

1. Rupert Murdoch did not draw the cartoon.
2. Rupert Murdoch did not edit the cartoon.
3. Rupert Murdoch did not print the cartoon.
4. The cartoon was in no way racist.

Anyone that understands basic government should understand why the cartoon was not racist and was not about Barack Obama. (Who by the way I did vote for). Sharpton screams racism in order to get into the news and solicit more donations from idiots. End of story.

With people like Al Sharpton creating racism where it does not exist our country will never truly get past the racist issues that are genuine.

Dustin Dibble

Sometimes this article just writes itself. I thought of writing about Steeler fans thanks to the A Hole that comes to my site looking for spank material for his Big Ben fantasies. However, there is just a bigger Douche bag in Dustin Dibble. (link)

Dustin decided to go out drinking in NYC. He then decided to take the subway home. Instead of following the same pattern of waiting for the train and then boarding the train like millions of others manage to do every day, Dustin decides to somehow end up on the tracks and get his leg cut off.

Tragedy right? Wrong! PayDay! Dustin with the help of an even bigger douche bag lawyer sues the transit authority for 3.5 million dollars. Claiming they should have stopped the train. The jury found the transit authority and the subway operator responsible for 65% of the incident. Here is what Dustin's lawyer said about the incident...

“Dibble in no way contributed to (the accident), and his injuries were due solely to the negligence and carelessness of the defendant,”

Unless that subway driver or the transit authority was out buying shots for Dustin and slipping him some funky pills, I can't see why they are at fault. I have managed to go out drinking hundreds of times and taken the subway home after many of those times and not once have I managed to even come close to getting my legs chopped off. Hell, I have even managed to keep my drunk ass off the tracks.

Once again, we as a society are proving that no one is responsible for their own actions and who knows, your next slip and fall / payday could be right around the corner. Live dangerously.

Drew Rosenhaus

Long overdue. This guy is a douche bag of the worst kind. He has an inflated view of his self importance because he deals with some of the biggest stars in the NFL on a daily basis.

This guy is classic little man syndrome. He is the loudest guy in the room, probably has about a gallon of expensive toilet water on and probably talks more smack than Muhammad Ali. His company logo is a freaking super man symbol. Seriously, this guy thinks he is faster than a speeding bullet and can leap tall buildings.

You may remember him from his press conference with Terrell Owens where he continued to dodge reporters questions by just repeating the phrase "Next Question".

His latest antics are sending a letter to all 31 teams naming 3 players that are looking for a trade, even though all three are under large contracts and need permission from their teams to look for trades. This guy thinks he is above the rules and above the people.

Drew, you suck.

Nadya Suleman

This weeks DBag comes from Los Angeles, California. Nadya Suleman qualifies as a DBag for the fact that she is a waste on society. After being a single mother with 6 kids and no job, she decided it was a good idea to go ahead and have some more kids. So she took the government assistance (aka all the productive members of societies cash) and paid for invitro fertilization. It took and she had 8 more kids.

This crazy bitch has 14 kids and no job. In a world where people are struggling to make ends meet this woman is sponging of society by continuing to have kids she can't afford. Lady, if I want to pay for some more kids I will go ahead and have some more of my own.

This blogger thinks because of idiotic shows like John and Kate plus 78 and the like, this woman sees a life of television in her future. I see 14 kids struggling through life with a moron for a mother. There is going to be teen pregnancy, drug abuse and criminal activity galore in this family.

Man, this lady sucks....