I struggled this week to figure out who I thought was the biggest DBag of 2008. This is an incredible dishonor and I wanted to make sure the right douche bag received the title. Meet Robert Aragon, this is the 55 year old father of an 11 year old girl that died on Christmas Day.
How did she die did you ask? When Robert's car broke down taking his children to their mothers house, he sent his 11 year old daughter and 12 year old son walking the last 10 miles in temperatures that were as cold as 5 below zero with the wind chill.
After hiking about 4 miles, she decided it was to cold and turned back to the car. Little did she know Robert had the car running and had already turned around to head home. While the 12 year old boy managed to find a little shelter and was rescued over 10 hours later, the little girl succumbed to hypothermia and passed away.
The people we have profiled on this site so far this year have all been DBags. Robert is by far the worst person we have profiled to date.
Robert Aragon
Roy Pearson
In case you have not heard of Judge Roy Pearson I will fill you in on what kind of a DBag he is. Over 3 years ago Roy took some pants to a local dry cleaners to be cleaned. When he returned to the store one pair of pants he had dropped off had been lost.
Most normal citizens would understandably be upset. They would probably force the dry cleaners to replace the missing clothing and maybe even get some future free services out of the situation. Not Roy.
Roy decides to sue the owners of the dry cleaners for $67 million for inconvenience, mental anguish and attorney's fees.
The owners tried to settle with this a-hole for $12,000 (more than 12 times the price of the suit the pants belonged to) but he refused.
Instead Pearson reduced his demands to $54 million in damages rather than $67 million. Among his requests were $500,000 in attorney's fees, $2 million for "discomfort, inconvenience, and mental distress", and $15,000, which he claimed would be the cost to rent a car every weekend to drive to another dry cleaners.
In 2007 at one of the trials Pearson broke down in tears describing his anguish and the court was forced to take a recess to accommodate him.
Pearson being of the law himself should understand what a frivolous law suit is and why it is bad for our judicial system. Instead he sees a pair of pants as a pay day and can't think past the dollar signs in his eyes.
A little bit of justice has been served, Pearson has not been kept on in his position as an administrative law judge in Washington DC based on his actions in this law suit. But leave it to good old DBag Pearson to follow that decision up with yet another law suit. In May of 2008, Roy Pearson filed suit against Washington DC, claiming that he had been wrongfully dismissed for exposing corruption within the Office of Administrative Hearings. Pearson sought $1 million in compensation for lost wages and punitive damages as well as his job back.
While one could argue that greed pushed many people in to bed with our previous DBag of the week Mr. Madoff, Roy Pearson's greed is unmatched. He is actively looking to destroy working people because he is a huge Douche Bag.
Bernie Madoff
This weeks DBag of the week is an easy one. Thanks to the greedy a-hole Bernie Madoff. If you have not heard of this guy go ahead and turn on your TV. He is the jerk that over the past 40 years built a solid reputation on Wall Street just so he could gain the trust of some of the wealthiest investors in the world.
DBag Madoff decided that he was going to make a lot of money by any means necessary. So off he went, whispering sweet nothings of great returns and huge payouts to anyone with a pocket full of cash.
Large corporations, individuals, charities all became victim to Bernie and his lies. He took pensions, 401k's, savings etc... and promised returns that no one could offer. (There is some blame on the investors, if it is to good to be true...)
All told, DBag Madoff lost his investors about 50 Billion dollars. Families saving for retirement and working for companies that invested with him now have no savings and no jobs. (One family's story).
Mr. Thain, you are off the hotseat. You have been replaced by an even bigger Douche Bag, Bernie Madoff. I hope the authorities see fit to toss you in the good old FPMITA* prison for a long time.
(* Federal Pound Me In The Ass)
John Thain
Congratulations John Thain, you are our inaugural D-Bag. This is quite an honor and future D-Bags have a lot to live up to.
As the CEO of Merrill Lynch you are requesting a $10 million bonus for 2008. Mostly because, in 2008, you held Merrill Lynch down to a loss of only $11.67 billion.
So let me get this straight. You lost tons of money for your customers, tons of your employees were laid off and you think you are worthy of a 10 million dollar bonus.
Disgusting is a word that gives you too much credit. You are a used douche bag sir.
1/23/2009 UPDATE: In Campbell Brown's latest story about Thain, she describes how even though Merill was preparing to file for bankruptcy John Thain decided to spruce up his office with a 1.2 million dollar makeover.
Ass.
About DoucheBag of the week
Welcome to DoucheBag of the week. I decided to start this blog as a way of recognizing those people that go above and beyond to show why they think they are better than the general population. I label them a douchebag, tell their story and post a picture if I have one.
You may be thinking to your self "Probinu" what makes you the expert on DoucheBags?
I am a self proclaimed expert based on two things.
1. My friend Darren Hollywood thinks I am an expert.
2. My life is pretty awesome and probably better than yours.
If that is not enough explanation for you, then you are probably a douchebag yourself. Email me at probinu at gmail.com. Send a little story and a picture of yourself and I will see about getting you on here.
Good Day